christmas sale: noun. A phenomenon where the need to give gifts provides a convenient excuse for empty price reductions that satisfy the human heart’s desire to feel it’s getting a better deal than other people did. Sucked dry by our day to day lives, we fill the hole in those starving hearts with low-price merchandise guaranteed to change absolutely everything about areas of our life that are in no way important, plugging the void that separates each human in our society with low-price electronics, clothes and jewelry until we can no longer tell the difference between the empty merchandise and our empty hearts, and we wander aimlessly through the streets, aimlessly wondering if she’ll really like it, if she won’t send me back out for more smack, if I’ll finally have shown her that I can provide, that I’m going somewhere in life, that I could do the modern equivalent of killing a deer and bringing it home to our cave to feed our progeny, that I have the meaning she thought our lives were missing, that….
see also Valentine’s Day
I don’t think I’ll ever understand Nelson Mandela on the level that I want to, but there is no doubt that he was a great man who changed the world. I hope that his legacy lives many times as long as he did.
I think that most people, unless they grew up recently in a backwards country like Pennsylvania, know what Hitler meant by the “Final Solution.” If, however, your state did not give you the Holocaust education it should have, I’ll sum it up: Hitler’s “Final Solution” was a means to answer the so-called “Jewish Question” by killing all of the Jews. This is sort of like acing the SATs by burning every math book in existence, except with more genocide and real people and fewer inanimate objects.
What’s this “Jewish Question”? The Jewish Question is a 2000 year old quandary of White Europeans, which basically boils down to whether or not Judean refugees should be treated like regular citizens and given basic rights. The question can be put this way, succinctly: As a strange combination of a nation and a religion, are Jews truly loyal to the rules of wherever we live, or should we be treated as foreigners—or worse?
It may be easy to ask, but given the centuries of anti-Semitism and persecution, you’ll find the question is not easy to answer. Only recently have white Westerners started doing the reasonable thing and actually, you know, asked Jews about this question. Even so, it’s been difficult to nail down an answer. You might think that Jews have varying opinions, just like real people. Yet even the Jews acknowledge that we’re maybe a little more opinionated, stereotypically, than others. The old saw is “two Jews, three opinions.”
So here’s mine.